If you don’t like and share this post, you’re a bad person.

If you’re one of the few people that I selectively associate with who knows me, you’ll understand that the title of this post isn’t an attempt to whore myself out on the Internet, but rather an ironic title for the content to come in this post. Really Rantic was started on the basis that I like to rant and rip to shit a topic that doesn’t sit well with me. I’ve not written a rant post in a long time, and I think I’m well overdue.

I’ve always hated Facebook. I still hate it with a fiery passion, despite it being one of my more frequent social feeds. There are a number of things that I absolutely loath about Zuckface’s social site.

First and foremost, it’s a hub for all sorts of shitposts and garbage by an outstanding number of Internet casuals. I swear that I’m going to start having nightmares of all of the “memes” and Aunty Acid comics with some sort of shitty caption on it. Fuck, even the posts of “this guy will quit smoking if he gets 10,000 likes!” – like, c’mon. Get some fucking willpower, will you?

The other thing that I despise about Facebook is that it’s become so centric to the Internet, that any notion of using an alternative website is met with resistance and other infuriating behaviour. I can’t recall the number of times I’ve tried to get people I’ve net online to register an account on an external forum which is focused on our mutual interests (ie. Gaming), only to be snubbed in saying it should just be a Facebook page and group.

Another thing that I absolutely loath is the fact that there’s absolutely no anonymity for anyone who’s registered an account. I don’t mind sharing my real name on occasion, but Facebook makes it a requirement that your name needs to be 100% correct as per your registered ID, and they’ll fuck up your account access six ways to Sunday on the suspicion that your name is fake, forcing you to create a new account with a different email or proving your identification by providing your ID.

But the absolute-fucking-worst of the goddamn shitheap is the “like and share if you agree, type amen” like posts, with some god awful cringe-worthy image attached that compels you to feel as though you’re socially obliged like, share, or type amen, otherwise you’re doing a disservice to whatever so called cause these actions are supposedly helping. The reality is, the Internet peasants that are behind this sort of crap only want people to interact with their post, increasing their analytical standing with Facebook resulting in their profile being pushed into the faces of even more Facebook users. The Internet runs on analytics, and the more you interact, the more it thinks people want to see it.

I maintain my Facebook account for two reasons: I have several pages that I administrate, that you can’t admin unless you don’t have a personal profile/account. There’s no option for a “page only” account. The second reason is that it’s an easier way of me keeping in contact (read “keeping tabs”, lel) on co-workers, friends and the like, because I’m a socially recluse individual when I’m not attempting to socialise in real life.

I don’t have a solution for Facebook, other than to invent some sort of warship and nuke Facebook HQ from orbit. Until then, it will just continue to dominate our lives.

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